how it goes

I've been very unproductive because of the stress of the end of last week. I feel foolish for reacting poorly to everything, but I can't help it if every little thing seems like the absolute worst thing that could possibly happen. I can't help it if I'm always on the verge of tears even over things like having to get lunch or my bangs not drying right. It all seems insurmountable, even if I do always seem to surmount it. It's the same as always though, which I'm now pretty used to, so at least I know that I can let this run its course and I'll be able to deal in a little while. I'm doing what I have to to refresh my coping skills and that's really all I can ask of myself. I went to yoga yesterday, which was important. I had a hard time recognizing and stopping my internal chatter, but I did my best and I felt more relaxed afterward. I had stir fry last night, and tonight I went for comfort food and had vegan mac and cheese which I got from my friend Abby's blog. It was delicious and just what I wanted.

Stir fry (adapted from Veganomicon)

1-2 tbsp peanut oil (olive oil works too)
1 or 2 cloves of garlic, minced
1/2 a bunch of collard greens or 1 whole bok choy (I prefer collards), sliced in ribbons 1-2 inches thick
1 red, yellow or orange bell pepper, sliced and then slices cut in half
1 portabella mushroom or some baby bellas, sliced
1 stalk of broccoli, chopped
a splash of apple cider vinegar
a splash of tamari
buckwheat soba noodles

Start by beginning to cook the soba noodles.
In a skillet heat the oil and garlic. After a minute or so add the broccoli. Cook for 2 minutes or so (I like my veggies really raw). Add bell pepper and mushrooms. Cook until mushrooms are almost soft (2 min?). Add greens, cook for 1-2 minutes. Add the tamari and vinegar, stir 1 minute. Add cooked soba noodles, stir 1 minute. enjoy.

Mac and Cheese from Good to Think and Eat with a few changes

2 tablespoons earth balance

1/4 cup flour

1 tablespoon soy sauce

1 clove garlic, minced

1 tiny pinch turmuric

cayenne pepper

1/4 cup nutritional yeast

2-3 cup cooked macaroni
1/2 cup bread crumbs

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Melt butter or margarine in a small oven-proof skillet.

3. Whisk in flour and let it darken to a golden brown.

4. Add 1 cup water, soy sauce, garlic, turmeric, and cayenne pepper to taste. Continue whisking.

5. Add nutritional yeast and more water if necessary. You want the mixture to be a thick but saucy consistency.

6. Add macaroni. Toss to coat with the sauce.

7. Sprinkle bread crumbs and cayenne pepper on top. Bake for 10 minutes.

8. Broil for a few minutes so the top gets crunchy and delicious.